Will and I went to the bar last night. Had a good time hanging out with the early birds.
I stopped going to the late night (after midnight) crowd because there's too much posturing and positioning to see who will be the first (tonight) to get to stick it in girl number 857-B. Its boring to watch and even worse when you're one of the chosen.
Oh how I swoon.
A friend of mine today mentioned how he doesn't pay attention to world affairs and doesn't put much stock into racism. It got me thinking about how I do the same thing in a much smaller scale.
If the world were my bar...
I dont go late so I dont have to put up with all the hipster bullshit. I connect this with not caring what new PC term and ideal is being bandied about.
I dont care who's popular at the moment, nor do I really care what they think. This one I think would be akin to chosing a political party and just blatently throwing your support behind whichever yokel they've chosen this term.
I hate being the fat girl at the bar. This has no correlation- I just hate being the "fat girl" that guys think will just fall on my knees and bless the lord there is now a penis in my life. As I told a friend once- the fat stops here (pointing at my neck). I have no brain fat. The brain is not stupid or slow because I like to eat Taco Bell. Just because I'm at the bar at closing time does not mean you will get lucky. Bah.
I dont want to hear the same five songs that you liked in high school over and over and over and... you get the point. Hmmm maybe this one could be related to hearing old blowhards talk about the good ol days. You know when people could walk down the street counting out their RothIRA in plain sight, girls never lost their virginity and all people of color wore suits.
Given all of this- why do I go out to the bar at all? Gemi, you may say, you are a class a biotch and boy do you whine a lot. Hmmm this may be true. Let me assuade you of the notion that I dont like my bar tho. So here's what I do like:
I like going early because I get to sit with working class people relaxing after work. There's no insane jockeying for "pole position" (hurhur) and generally the jukebox is pretty quiet. I like sitting and talking to the bartenders. I've been going to this bar for ten years- its amazing how close to friends one can get over ten years.
Oh yeah... and there's alcohol. What's not to love about my early bar?
So I think that my relationship to my bar shows my relationship to the world. I want to pay attention to what I enjoy and feel can actually change. I'll concentrate on the close by instead of the big picture all the time. I want to see the difference I make- not wait until my great grandkids are fifteen.
And I want to be able to drink while I do it.
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